
Image via Free Games Online
Think time management and you think work. How can you accomplish the tasks you’ve been assigned within the nine-to-five grind – so you can go out and drink beer with your conscience clear? Doing all your boss has asked isn’t always easy. However much you plan, organize, set goals and prioritize, like end of level bosses in an interminable video game, there are hundreds of obstructions to effective time management – and the boss of bosses has got to be the big D: distractions. It’s ironic, then, that there exist, within the wonderful world of the web, numerous time management games busying themselves right now, not only distracting poor, innocent members of the workforce with better things to do – but positively driving them to distraction as well. Here are 7 time management games that are a total waste of time. Now get back to work!
7. Potion Bar

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With the success of World of Warcraft and the fantasy genre more generally, it’s only natural that time management games should get in on the whole swords and sorcery bandwagon – or so it would appear when clicking on Potion Bar, a game that promises you’ll “plunge into the captivating world of magic and serve enchanted elixirs to many fanciful customers!” The problem is, those customers look more like rejects from the grunge movement than Legolas or Gimli, and you’ll be bored out of your brain before you can say “Frodo”. Instructed by a smug fat cat on a cushion, this game is all about cooking up cocktails with a range of weird and wonderful ingredients, while a steady flow of aggravated clients get annoyed by your incompetence. Potion Bar is probably meant to teach you skills like planning and prioritizing. It ends up driving you mad. You’ll need a real drink after this.
6. Burger Shop 2

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Ever wanted to be a manager at McDonald’s? Thought so. Well now’s your chance with Burger Shop 2, the time management game that’ll have you serving up meat patties, fries and an assortment of other fast food favourites to a slew of hungry, impatient customers. As the bacon, eggs, burgers and other cholesterol-loaded foodstuffs come flying down the conveyor belt, it’s your job to plate them up and get them out to the red check shirted clones waiting at the counter. Sound easy? It isn’t. But, if you can master “the art of food placement”, you’ll have taken your first step to building your own burger empire. You’ve got to be efficient as you go about your job, juggling which are your priority orders and which can wait – good time management skills it’s true – but at the end of the day you’re clicking your mouse to run a burger joint. Don’t waste your time.
5. Super Baby Sitter

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Just what we want when we’ve got a bit of time to spare – or not: to be surrounded by hoards of screaming kids. The name of the game here is keeping your young charges content by providing for their every need – be it a toy, a diaper change or some milk from a bottle. Stay on the ball and all will be well, but let things slip and those lovable tots will make your life hell with the most dangerous weapon in a baby’s armory: the waterworks. Yes, when you hear those brats start crying you’ll wonder why you ever started playing this game. Oh yes, time management. If you can stick with it you’ll not only learn valuable parenting skills but a sense of separating out what’s urgent from what’s merely important – a method President Eisenhower supposedly practiced. You’ll need to be cooler than any president to cope with this ‘amusement’.
4. Farm Frenzy 3: Madagascar

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It’s all the fun of the farm in this next time management game as you aid Scarlet in her bid to become an even bigger farming success than she became in the first and second installments of Farm Frenzy. In the first couple of levels of this popular, Madagascar-based number matters aren’t as manic as they’ll no doubt get the further you progress. You busy yourself tending to your guinea fowl, growing grass to feed them, going to the well to pump water for the plants, and collecting the eggs that are the fruits of your labor. You’ve got goals to follow, you’ve got to allocate your resources and you’ve got to monitor your activities – admittedly all valuable time management techniques. The problem is, get yourself addicted to this game and you won’t have any time to reap any of the real rewards life has to offer.
3. Beauty Resort

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Who knew helping Heather run her own beauty resort could be so much fun? Not us until we tried it, loved the career change – and nearly lost our job when the boss caught us neglecting our real responsibilities. But we digress. As the game instructions say, “Work fast and carefully or the customers will get angry”. This ‘work’ basically involves clicking on your paying clients and plonking them in either the massage chair or the jacuzzi. You’re also instructed, “Don’t forget to clean” – ‘cleaning’ here taking the forms of clicking various icons. Other than that it’s just a matter of picking up the dollar bills and racking up the points. Does it help you with time management? Put it this way. While there’s some prioritizing and you have to plan on the hop, there’s certainly no time to make a task list. Verdict: another waste of time.
2. Jojo’s Fashion Show World Tour

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For the style gurus among us there’s Jojo’s Fashion Show, a time management game in which you take on the role of leading fashion designer Jojo Cruz. You’ll draw on all your mastery of chic technique as you embark on a tour that’ll see you hosting shows in every fashion capital in the world. Fabulous darling! In practice, this means dressing the pantie and bra clad models that are your canvas in a melange of different garments with styles names such as Gothic Loli and Kimono Krazy. Finding the right combination for clothing these twigs seems easy at first, but the process becomes ever more difficult as your time in the limelight lengthens. As with most of these games, it’s all about taking the right steps in the right order, but while they try to show you time management needn’t be boring, you’ll be yawning your appreciation before long.
1. Internet World

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In Internet World you head up an internet club. Turning this virtual idea into something more visual, the game entails you – cast as a kind of god of all geeks – using pincers to place your evidently clueless guests where they want to go. How are you blessed with the power to read their minds? It comes courtesy of a bubble above their heads – proof that they’re not complete zombies. To the tune of maddening plinkety plonk music, more and more of these drones pull up in a big red bus, swarm in, and shuffle against one another as they wait to be picked up by your looming claw and taken to departments like Content Management and Email Marketing. Needless to say, the more guests arrive at the exhibition, the harder you job becomes. You can monitor and allocate all you like, but eventually you’ll crash, whether you’ve learned any time management skills or not.